Seeking God in the Darkness

Do you ever find yourself just needing to spend some quiet moments inside a parish church in front of the Tabernacle? Just to have some one on one time with Our Lord? Or do you ever just need to call out to Our Lady and ask for her prayers? Spiritual deserts are not easy, nor were they ever intended to be. But we always have recourse to Heaven. God hears us even when we do not have the capacity to pray out loud. He listens to the soul. He knows our hearts better than we do.

It is a challenge being in a spiritual desert because we are still called to utilize the graces God sends us to combat sin, strive for virtue, to pray the Rosary daily, to do the works of mercy (corporal and spiritual), to unite myself to the Mass. It is difficult to do such things when in your core you are wrestling with anxiety, depression, loneliness, stress, frustration, irritation, anger. Such sentiments do not have a place in the Divine Will, so why do we wrestle with them? And why are they so hard to shake off?

At times it feels like God can be distant, even though I know He is intimately united to me, cares for me, loves me. Even though everything can be seem to be submerged in darkness, I know He allows such excursions for a purpose. I long for His consolations to return, and yet, His Will be done. Not my own. If He ordains that I should persevere and carry a cross through the desert, then I must earnestly seek to do so with as much determination and joy as I possibly can.

To whatever degree I find some semblance of strength to respond to God’s call, I know it is His grace enabling me to do so. Apart from His grace, I would be hopelessly lost, and would replace the cross for the empty pursuits of this godless fallen world. God allows us these moments in the desert so we can be reminded of our dependency on Him, and to know that apart from Him, we can do nothing.

The devil tries to get in the mix by whispering to our ears, "Doesn't this upset you? Don't you just want to give up? Aren't you tired of carrying a cross for a God who seems to not hear you?" I have said for many years that the devil is basically a noisy dog yapping behind a cage. He can not really do anything at all. So it is always best to drown out his rambling through returning back to devotions and prayer.

Every Saint, to some degree or another, experienced a dark night wherein they underwent tests and trials even while Heaven appeared to be silent. This is because Our Lady seeks to conform us to Christ Crucified and to reveal her Sorrowful Heart to us.

My Lord, what graces you bestow onto your servants who persevere without the added benefit of spiritual consolation.

My Lady, what love you have for your faithful servants who cling to you as you knelt beside the Cross of Calvary, to console you in your grief and to keep watch with you.

If such perseverance brings comfort to Our Lord and Our Lady, then why ask for anything different? They receive more comfort when a soul keeps enclosed within their Hearts even though there is no personal consolation to be found. In this way, we learn truly that God is the sole consolation of the soul.

Psalm 76:

I cried to the Lord with my voice; to God with my voice, and he gave ear to me. In the day of my trouble I sought God, with my hands lifted up to him in the night, and I was not deceived. My soul refused to be comforted: I remembered God, and was delighted, and was exercised, and my spirit swooned away. My eyes prevented the watches: I was troubled, and I spoke not.

I thought upon the days of old: and I had in my mind the eternal years. And I meditated in the night with my own heart: and I was exercised and I swept my spirit. Will God then cast off for ever? or will he never be more favourable again? Or will he cut off his mercy for ever, from generation to generation? Or will God forget to shew mercy? or will he in his anger shut up his mercies?

And I said, Now have I begun: this is the change of the right hand of the most High. I remembered the works of the Lord: for I will be mindful of thy wonders from the beginning. And I will meditate on all thy works: and will be employed in thy inventions. Thy way, O God, is in the holy place: who is the great God like our God? Thou art the God that dost wonders. Thou hast made thy power known among the nations:

With thy arm thou hast redeemed thy people the children of Jacob and of Joseph. The waters saw thee, O God, the waters saw thee: and they were afraid, and the depths were troubled. Great was the noise of the waters: the clouds sent out a sound. For thy arrows pass: The voice of thy thunder in a wheel. Thy lightnings enlightened the world: the earth shook and trembled. Thy way is in the sea, and thy paths in many waters: and thy footsteps shall not be known.

Thou hast conducted thy people like sheep, by the hand of Moses and Aaron.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. We love you. Save souls. Amen.