Meditations on Aridity
The following meditations are extracted from Meditations for all the days of the year, Vol 3., by Fr. Andre Jean Marie Hamon (1795-1874).
"It is expedient to you that I go."
Let us adore Jesus Christ addressing these strange words to His apostles: "It is expedient to you that I go."
How, Lord, can it be useful to Thy apostles to be separated from Thee, who art their light, their strength, their consolation? Was it not, on the contrary, to lose all? No! Thou dost affirm it will be very useful to them; they have too natural an attachment to My Humanity, they are too fond of the sensible consolations which My presence makes them enjoy; they must learn to love the God of consolations more than the consolations of God. The heart which desires to belong to God must be detached from all ties to the creature, however excellent the creature may be. That is why it is useful for them that I go away. I thank Thee, O Lord, for so useful an explanation; help me to understand it thoroughly and to profit by it well.
What Are the Aridities Which are Useful to the Soul?
By aridities are understood a withdrawal of the light of God which illumines the soul, or of His unction which touches it, in such a manner that exercises of piety are thereby divested of attraction, the service of God of enjoyment, duty of its pleasure. These aridities are of two kinds: the one kind is a trial with which God visits fervent souls; the other is an effect or chastisement of tepidity.
Let us meditate upon the three features by which they are distinguished:
The fervent soul which is tried by aridity sighs, in the presence of God, over the state of misery and powerlessness in which it languishes; it humbles itself for it, and would like to set the whole universe on fire in order to compensate the coldness of its heart.
The tepid soul, on the contrary, does not sigh over its state of languor; it does not care for it, and does not even feel it.
The soul which is tried is in a violent crisis, out of which it constantly endeavors to come forth; thinking of the evil which in its weakness it commits ; of the good which it ought to perform and which it does not do; comparing itself with fervent souls and seeing how far away it is from them, it experiences that fear and trembling with which the Apostle desires that our salvation should be worked out. Confounded at having done so little for God, it is inspired with an immense desire to do better, and it animates itself to lead a better life.
The tepid soul, on the contrary, feels itself to be at ease as it is. Considering the evil which it does not do, and the small amount of good which it does perform, comparing itself with persons who are lax, to whom it prefers itself ; and also making a profession of not aspiring to a lofty degree of perfection, but to keep itself in a state of mediocrity, it lives in a state of tranquility and presumptuousness, without having any fear of God, without aspiring to become better
The fervent soul, in spite of its aridities, is not any the less exact in all its exercises, which it performs as well as it can; in the performance of all its duties, to which it willingly sacrifices its comfort and its pleasures; to all its pious practices, which it feels to be all the more necessary precisely on account of the state in which it finds itself.
The tepid soul, on the contrary, performs its exercises badly, abridges them or omits them entirely; will not submit to anything which re strains it, is a weariness to it, or displeases it ; it makes no account of the little things which are not to its taste, and will not understand that there is anything that can be called little in the service of God, that great things are maintained only by little ones, and that it is a very great thing to be faithful even in the smallest things.
Let us judge by these characteristics whether our aridities are a trial sent by God or an effect of our tepidity.
What We Ought to do in Aridities.
If aridities evidently come from our tepidity we must issue promptly from this state, which the Holy Ghost declares to be worse than a mortal sin (Apoc. iii. 15), and which He even calls a beginning of reprobation (Ibid. 16), and in order to issue from it we must correct the three characteristics of tepidity on which we have been meditating.
If our aridities are only a trial, we must accept them without being discouraged or distressed ; we must offer to God our heart as dry ground, which is exhausted and which thirsts for grace and for His holy love. This thirst will, of itself, speak to God, this humble exposure of our wretchedness will say everything to Him ; and whilst waiting for Him to hear us, let us continue to serve Him in peace.
Let us watch over ourselves vigilantly, in order not to pass from aridity to tepidity; nothing is more easy than this passage, and, at the same time, nothing is more dangerous, because we tranquillize ourselves when we are in this state, as though it were one of the trials to which God makes His best friends submit; and seduced by this illusion, we fall into a terrible sleep which leads to death.
The Most Ordinary Causes of Aridities
There is amongst Christians an illusion which is too common; it is that which casts all interior troubles upon God and upon virtue, as though God called man to His service only to render him unhappy; as though virtue were a land which devoured all its inhabitants, and Christian perfection a state in which only bitterness is to be found.
Doubtless God sometimes sends aridities to the best amongst souls, in order to sanctify them, to purify them and increase their merits. But most frequently the aridities and difficulties which we experience in prayer and meditation have their cause in ourselves.
The general cause is tepidity, as we have already seen, but this cause is divided into several branches, with which it is important we should be acquainted. These branches are the passions, which throw us into a state of disorder: self-love, which causes distrac tions in our thoughts, desires which fill our minds, curiosity, which, filling our minds with worldly matters and exterior objects, deprives the soul of being able to fix its thoughts upon God. They are, also, negligence in ruling our vagabond will, in repressing our self-will, in detaching our heart from all that ties it down to earth. Strange contradiction! We want to be recollected in prayer and everywhere else we allow ourselves to indulge in dissipation of thought. We would like to possess within us the unction of piety, and we allow ourselves to entertain a thousand vain thoughts, attachments, and desires, which, like a sponge, draw all unction out of the heart, dry it up and exhaust it, until they leave it devoid of all taste or feeling for divine things.
A thousand times in meditation, at Holy Communion, in visits to the Blessed Sacrament, God gives us a feeling of fervor, a spiritual consolation, which is intended by Him to sustain our weakness; and immediately after wards we allow our eyes to wander wherever curiosity attracts them. We yield to a fancy or to a caprice ; we take too large a share in frivolous conversation, in worldly affairs ; we lose our time in vain thoughts, in useless imaginations ; and directly all the sweetness of piety vanishes, and we become cold, weary, and disgusted. Do not let us be surprised: "God is a jealous God." (Exod. xxxiv. 14 ; Deut. iv. 24). We leave Him for the creature; He leaves us in His turn. The spirit of grace and of prayer cannot ally itself with the license of the mind, which occupies itself with outward things; of the heart, which permits itself attachments; with the imagination, which flies from one thing to another.
We ought, therefore, to impute to ourselves the greater portion of our aridities, and, instead of laying the blame of them on God and on virtue, seek the cause of them in ourselves, cut off this cause, and bear, in a spirit of penance, the state in which we find ourselves to be, and which is a just chastisement of our fault.
Means for Preventing the Greater Portion of our Aridities
Doubtless we cannot forestall the aridities which come from God, because they enter into the plan of our salvation; but we can forestall those which have their origin in ourselves. We can do so:
By recollection, making of the bottom of our heart, as it were, a sanctuary, where we shall be alone with God only. We must, with sweet and peaceful attention, stand, like sentinels, at the door of this sanctuary, to keep the entrance closed against wandering thoughts and useless desires; and soon heavenly consolations will make in us a new Thabor, of which we shall be able to say, with St. Peter: "How good it is to be here" (Matt. xvii. 4); how good to pray here, to adore and to love!
We can forestall aridities by mortification, which separates the soul from creatures, at the same time that recollection unites it to God. A little sacrifice made for God brings down grace upon us and fills the heart with a delightful feeling. We are glad to have done something for a God so good, so amiable, and so great. It is then that we pray aright, that we perform all our exercises well, and that the unction of piety renders them easy; whilst, if we refuse God the sacrifice He asks of us, we are discontented with ourselves, the heart dries up, and is covered with an inexplicably black and sombre shadow, which takes away all taste for prayer and the things of God.
Let us have courage to give ourselves up to recollection and mortification, and soon God will make us sensible of the sweetness of serving Him.
Conduct to be Observed in States of Aridity
We shall see that we must keep ourselves:
From the discouragement which leads to laxity
From the trouble which takes peace away from the soul.
Our resolution shall be:
To accept cheerfully the disgust, the weariness, and the aridities we may meet with in the accomplishment of our duties
To keep ourselves calm and patient, in spite of our interior troubles
"In a desert land, and where there is no way, and no water, so in the sanctuary have I come before Thee" (Ps. Ixii. 3)
Let us adore Jesus Christ afflicted upon the cross by the abandonment of His Father. "My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken Me?" (Mark xv. 34. ) Let us bless Him for having willed to pass through this state of abandonment and aridity to encourage us to bear it ourselves.
In Times of Aridity We Must Keep Ourselves on Guard Against Discouragement
To serve God when we find pleasure in doing so is an easy thing, but to bear the cross without feeling the unction of it, to drag, as though it were a burden, a cold and insensible heart to prayer, to meditate without feeling any taste for it, to communicate without being sensible of any attraction towards it, to fulfil our duties without enjoying any consolation, in a word, to be like a stupid creature, a beast of labor, in our relations with God (Ps. Ixxii. 23),
This is what often discourages and engenders in us feelings of sadness and of melancholy, which renders us insupportable to ourselves and to each other. In these states, it is greatly to be feared that we shall end by abandoning everything, for then we have no longer hearts for anything.
To so dangerous a temptation as this we must oppose:
The rights of God. God has a right to require from us - even things in which we find no pleasure. Never was a servant authorized not to serve his master for the reason that what he was commanded to do wearied him or gave him no pleasure; now God is our master, and He has an undeniable right over all our actions, independent of our tastes as well as of our repugnances.
We must combat this temptation with the law of penance. We have sinned greatly, we still sin every day. Now the best penance for so many sins is to serve God, spite of the disgust and repugnance (I. Kings iii. 18) of discouraged nature. This is why the saints, when they received sensible consolations and, as it were, the caresses of grace, said: O God, this is not suitable fora sinner like me ; and when they experienced interior troubles : Now, Lord, this is exactly how I ought to be treated. My daily infidelities deserve this chastisement and greater chastisement still.
We must combat it with the hope of heaven. Is it just to desire to be paid at the time for all we do for God, and not to be willing to await the recompense which will be given us in Paradise, or give credit to God until then? Oh, how badly we understand our own interests! If we are not remunerated here below by sensible consolations, we shall have a double recompense in heaven the recompense of the action performed purely for God, and the recompense of the courage which overcame the repugnance: and this double recompense will be eternal. Let us know, then, how to wait: upon earth patience, in heaven enjoyment, but a better kind of enjoyment and an enjoyment which will never end. Let us penetrate ourselves deeply with these truths.
In Seasons of Aridity We Must Be on Our Guard Against Agitation and Keep Our Soul at Peace.
The soul when it is in a state of aridity and in sensibility sometimes imagines itself to be abandoned by God and to be no longer loved by Him because it receives from Him nothing but severity, and no longer to love Him because it feels itself to be cold and tepid. If God ceases to caress it as a mother does her child, it believes all to be lost, is discouraged and depressed. Agitated and ill at ease, it does not know itself any longer, it does not see itself, it does not know whence it comes or whither it goes. Distracted by its troubles, it does not any longer hear the voice of the Holy Spirit speaking within it; it no longer maintains that sweet and peaceful attention which follows all the movements of the heart, which gives facility to prayer, wisdom for counselling it, and which makes it advance in virtue.
O my soul, wherefore dost thou thus trouble thyself and lose thy peace? (Ps. xlii. 5.) Wherefore, because thou art displeased with thyself dost thou fear that thou dost displease God?
True piety does not consist in tastes and in feelings, but only in the firm determination to serve God. Sensible fervor is a gift which God bestows when it so pleases Him; it is not a service which He requires, since it is a thing which does not depend upon ourselves. If He refuses us this favor, which He alone can give, He will not revenge His withholding it upon us.
Insensibility is so far from being an evil that all the saints have been subject to it (II. Imit. ix. 7, 4). The holy man Job is a proof of it, when He said to God: Lord, Thou dost visit me in the morning with Thy consolations, and in the evening Thou dost try me by Thy absence (Job vii. 18). Whence the pious author of the Imitation draws this conclusion: If it has been thus with the greatest saints, why should we who are poor and miserable be grieved because we are treated in the same way? (II. Imit ix. 5.) Do we follow these holy maxims?
“It is a great thing to be faithful to God in little things.”
- St. Augustine
We will continue to meditate upon the conduct to be observed in states of aridity, and we shall then see that we must be:
More faithful in performing our exercises of piety
We must keep ourselves united to God.
We will then make the resolution:
Not to curtail any of our pious exercises, spite of the small amount of taste we have for them
To persevere, although we have no attraction thereto, in a spirit of recollection and of union with God.
Let us adore Jesus Christ in the Garden of Olives recommending His apostles to watch and to pray on the approach of temptation (Matt. xxvi. 41). They were overcome by sleep; they had no taste for prayer. In spite of that, Our Lord says to them: “Watch ye and pray.” Taste is not necessary, but prayer is indispensable. Let us thank Him for so useful a counsel.
In States of Aridity We Must Remain Faithful to our Exercises of Piety
Pious exercises are the food of the soul. By retrenching any portion of them we weaken our souls, even as the body is weakened by diminishing its nourishment; and this weakness is all the more dangerous in states of aridity, when the soul is already weakened by the subtraction of graces.
With the withdrawal of light night begins in us, the suppression of pious exercises finishes it, and casts the soul into utter darkness. Aridities place the soul on the edge of the precipice, pious exercises are the branch which sustains it and prevents it from falling. Without them we become wholly earthly and wholly sensual; we have no longer any zeal for our salvation, and the soul is in the greatest peril. At such a time we ought to be more than ever exact in performing our spiritual exercises, give the usual time to prayer, maintain ourselves in the same religious attitude, observe the same rule of life, the same restraint over the senses, in a word, cut off nothing from what we did formerly, it signifying little whether we have a taste for it or experience nothing but disgust.
The exercises which we perform without feeling any taste for them will save us all the more surely because they will be more meritorious and will better prove our love to God.
Have we followed these rules?
In States of Aridity We Must Maintain Our Union with God
As in a state of aridity we find no consolation in ourselves, we are led to seek for it in outside things. He who yields to this temptation aggravates the evil. It is precisely then that we must all the more occupy ourselves with God in our interior, keep ourselves on our guard against useless thoughts and imaginations which render us oblivious of His presence, moderate our impulsiveness and our preoccupations, curiosity in looking at what passes around us, intemperance in our language, and levity in our deportment and manners, all of which things make us forget God.
When God beholds in a soul courage to maintain itself constantly, although without taste, recollected both within and without, living in the arid desert of its heart with the same fidelity as in seasons of sensible devotion, He is touched by such holy dispositions, and hardly ever delays to visit it with His grace, at least in the ordinary course of His providence. Soon He makes His manna to fall in the desert, and He makes heavenly consolations issue out of the hard heart like water from the rock (Ps. cxlvii. 18). Let us believe the words of the King Prophet when He said, "My soul refused to be comforted, I remembered God and was delighted" (Ps. Ixxvi. 3, 4). What strong consolation for us in our days of trial!
We will meditate tomorrow upon the advantages to be derived from states of aridity, and we shall see that we can obtain from them:
the greatest merits
the most solid virtues.
We will then make the resolution:
In states of aridity to be as exact in the performance of our duties as we are in times of consolation
To be glad to profit by these days of trial in order to form ourselves by means of renunciation in solid virtues. Our spiritual nosegay shall be the words of the Gospel: “The kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent bear it away” (Matt. xi. 12).
Let us adore Jesus Christ submitting in the Garden of Olives to the trial of aridity and of weariness (Mark xiv. 33) that we may thereby encourage ourselves to bear similar trials, and to teach us that the weariness which saddens the soul, far from being an evil, may, on the contrary, be the means of acquiring the greatest merits and the most solid virtues. Let us thank Him for the example He has given us and ask of Him grace to profit by it.
For the Faithful Soul, Seasons of Aridity are Seasons for Acquiring the Greatest Merit
It is a great delusion to imagine that everything we do for which we have no taste is on that very account without merit and but little pleasing to God. God does not ask of us to serve Him with a taste for doing so, but to serve Him faithfully in spite of all the weariness we may feel in doing so. He takes pleasure in the generosity of the faithful soul, which, a prey to disgust and cast down as it were under the weight of repugnances, rises as Jesus Christ did in the Garden of Olives, saying, "Rise, let us go" (Matt. xxvi. 46), let us go, even though it be to death. The more disgust a servant feels towards what is commanded him, the more he is worthy of the favor of his master when, spite of his dislike, he performs with exactitude all he is told to do. It is the same with the service of God. Never does this good Master better appreciate what is done for Him, never do we acquire more merits than when we triumph over repugnances to follow at every instant the voice of duty. To perform the good which is pleasing to us is a thing of mediocre merit ; sometimes even, it is to be feared, that, performing the duty for the sake of the pleasure we find in it, and not for the sake of God, we thereby lose all merit, and that God may say, "They have received their reward" (Matt. vi. 2); but to perform our duty by overcoming the re pugnances of nature, behold, herein lies the supreme merit to which is assured the most beautiful of crowns. Far, then, from works performed with aridity and with weariness being less meritorious, they are richer in merit, and they receive a recompense in proportion to the difficulty they cost us. Consequently, far from neglecting them in these circumstances, we ought to set to work with all the more energy, because it is better to enjoy less happiness here below in order to have more enjoyment in eternity.
For the Faithful Soul, Seasons of Aridity are Seasons for Increasing in Solid Virtue
Virtue which requires the milk of consolations is still in its infancy. It does not require a great effort to be pious, says the author of the Imitation, when the unction of the Holy Spirit attracts is to be so, to run when the grace of God impels us, to bear the burden when the hand of the Almighty sustains us (II. Imit. ix. i).
The only solid virtue is that of the mature man who, being weaned from these sweetnesses, eats the substantial bread of tribulation and trial. It is with the soul as it is with the body. In proportion as we leave childhood behind us, we cease to give the body those tender and delicate attentions which were lavished upon it at our entrance into life; it is subjected to painful exercises, which, whilst fatiguing it, strengthen it. In the same way, God withdraws from the soul the sensible joys, which, by weakening it, would prevent its vigor from being developed. He exercises it by trials of aridity, which fashion it to abnegation, to pa tience, to love of the cross, and render it more vigorous and capable of great sacrifices. It is thus that strong souls are formed and solid virtues im planted in the heart.
Whoever is able amidst weariness and aridities to perform his duty constantly and perfectly, will be capable of the most difficult things, and his robust energy will be superior to all obstacles. May we appreciate this useful lesson!
“To whom shall I have respect but to him that is poor and little and of contrite spirit?”
We will consider tomorrow aridities from a new point of view:
As a corrective of false love
As a lesson of humility.
We will then make the resolution:
To humble ourselves before God on account of these aridities in our spiritual exercises
To humiliate ourselves before men by esteeming others better than ourselves, by not taking any praise to ourselves, and by accepting any kind of contempt and want of consideration. Our spiritual nosegay shall be the words of Our Lord in Isaias: "To whom shall I have respect but to hint that is poor and little and of contrite spirit?" (Is. Ixvi. 2.)
Let us adore the immense love which Jesus Christ has for us. By the very subtraction of His graces, He teaches us to derive from it the precious grace of humility, as formerly He made water issue from the rock that He might slake the thirst of His people, excellent honey from holes in the stone, and delicious oils from out the hardest rocks (Deut. xxxii. 13). Let us bless Him for showing us so much love.
Aridities are a Corrective of Self-love
Man has a natural tendency towards pride, into which everything that raises him exposes him to fall; all that sanctifies him, as soon as he perceives it, exposes him to sin, and even the graces of God themselves become in his case the most subtle of temptations. Let him be but inundated with sensible fervor; let grace, flowing in upon him on all sides, make his soul to be overwhelmed with joy and delight, and immediately his soul whispers to him that this fervor is of his own accomplishing ; that God ought to be pleased with him ; that he is making progress in virtue ; that ho is worth more than so many others whose exterior seems to indicate a cold and dissipated interior. This is what explains the sensitive self-love of certain souls, otherwise pious, and the fall of more than one solitary of the desert after eighty years of fervor. Self-love, then, feeds on all which we believe to be love of God. We are so contented with ourselves that we never for a mo ment think of despising ourselves and taking the lowest place. But let consolations be withdrawn, let aridities take their place ; there is then no longer any self-love, no longer any templation to believe ourselves to be better than others; then humility is easy, and the small degree of virtue which there is in us is more secure. Never is a treasure more safe than when it is in obscurity ; never does beauty better keep its lustre than when it is beneath a veil. This is why the author of the Imitation addresses to us these beautiful words: "When you receive consolations from God understand that they are not due to any merit on your side, but that they are a gift of God. Do not be lifted up by them, do not rejoice too much, and do not allow yourselves to be tempted to indulge in vain presumption, but be all the more humble and keep yourselves on your guard " (II. Imit. ix. 4). To God alone be honor and glory ; to us, shame and confusion. Is this the fruit we derive from our aridities, our distrac tions, our powerlessness in prayer? Do we come forth from it less susceptible, less full of ourselves, more disposed to despise ourselves and to esteem ourselves to be less than others? This is the design God has in permitting these aridities. Let us respond to it.
Aridities are a Powerful Means of Teaching us Humility
We often behold around us holy souls which pray with all their hearts, and which seem to breathe nothing but holy lov ; whilst we, on our side, are as cold as ice, and can draw nothing out of our poor heart God permits this contrast, to show us plainly that we are nothing and worth nothing; that, far from possessing any title to esteem, there is no one more miserable than we are; that all self-esteem is nothing but a lie, and that we deserve to be trodden under foot by every one.
Oh, how excellent are these darknesses wherein self-love is lost! How precious this in sensibility in which self-esteem finds its death! It is then that the soul, confounded by its powerlessness, casts itself humbly before the throne of God, adores Him by the confession of its own nothingness, is astonished to be allowed to appear in His presence, and abases itself utterly in presence of His eternal majesty. In the confusion into which it is thrown by its insensibility, it does not expect a return of consolations, for the delights of piety, it says, are suitable only to saints ; as for me, sinner that I am, unworthy of His love, unworthy of His eyes being cast upon me, and of His thoughts, it is only too much honor for me to be here at His feet in order to satisfy His justice by priva tions, by aridities, and by struggles, and to say to Him, whilst exhibiting myself to Him in all my poverty: “O God, I am indeed nothing! Yes, verily, I am altogether evil, and Thou art altogether good; I am nothing but darkness and Thou art altogether light; insensibility, and Thou art all consolation; poverty, and Thou art all riches.The portion which is my share is humiliating to me, but to Thee it is glorious, and I rejoice at it. It is a consolation that my miseries make Thy greatness show forth and serve Thy glory. I take pleasure in my nothingness and my ignorance, content that Thou alone shouldst be praised and glorified.”
Oh, if we but knew how to make this use of our aridities, how they would make us in crease in humility, and would attract the complaisant notice of Him who has said: “To whom shall I have respect but to him that is poor and little and of contrite spirit?” (Is. Ixvi. 2.) Then will the truth of these words be realized, that the best prayer is that which makes us most humble.
We will tomorrow consider aridities as a means of increasing in love towards God:
Because they make His goodness show itself forth.
Because they dispose the soul to love Him with a more ardent love.
Because they make us love Him with a purer love.
We will then make the resolution:
To bless God in the midst of aridities, and to exalt His love, which condescends to our misery.
To call upon Him to visit us by holy desires often repeated: Come to me, Jesus, come to my help, make me to love Thee.
Let us adore Jesus withdrawing Himself from Mary and Joseph in the journey He made from Jerusalem at the age of twelve. His parents sought Him in their distress and found Him at the end of three days. He often hides Himself thus from the soul; it seeks Him and finds Him and loves Him all the more. It was what He desired, for all is love in God’s guidance of souls. Let us bless Him for this proof of His goodness, and let us beg of Him to increase our love, even by aridities.
In Aridities the Faithful Soul Better Appreciates the Love of God
There is no one who does not understand that love is all the more appreciated when it has an elevated origin and descends from thence ; that the more extreme is any one s poverty, the more astonishing would it be for a monarch to lower his affections to him. Now, it is in aridity that the soul sees itself to be miserable, poor, vile, and abject ; it is then, consequently, that it better appredates the goodness of God. How is it, it says to itself, that the great God of eternity does indeed will to love me; that not only does He not forsake me who am so unworthy of His notice, but that He comes to me by His grace; that He deigns at this very moment even to show me my wretchedness, that without His aid I should not have seen; that He unites Himself to me by communion, that He overwhelms me with His bounties, both in the natural and the super natural order? O inconceivable love! That He should love the seraphim, that He should love holy souls burning with love to Him, is of itself a great marvel, because inasmuch as being creatures they are at an infinite distance from His supreme greatness; but that a God should love me, I who am so cold, so tepid, so devoid of anything that is good, that a God who is so great should let His heart descend to such profound misery, that such infinite elevation should unite itself to such a bottomless abyss, that is indeed love carried to its highest point! Divine goodness alone could bring together such extremes ; and the whole of eternity will not be long enough to sing such ineffable mercies (Ps. Ixxxviii. 2). It is thus that aridities make us better appreciate the love of God. And we, when we are in those states which might be so profitable to us in this point of view, we do not give the matter a thought What harm we do to our soul!
In Aridities the Faithful Soul Seeks God with a more Ardent
The absence of a beloved person renders him dearer to us when we see him once more, and the heart feels itself to be filled with more ardent love towards him. As long as a child sees its mother, it seems to forget her, and thinks only of its own amusements ; but as soon* as she disappears fora moment, it weeps, it calls out for her ; and as soon as it Las found her, it embraces her, and loves her more than before. It is because priva tion makes it feel the value of its mother, and so redoubles its love for her. In the same way, when God hides Himself in the night of aridities and privations, it is only to make the soul desire Him still more, in order to make it better appre ciate the value of His possession, and to teach it to exercise more vigilance when it has the happi ness of possessing Him. When the spouse in the Canticle lost him whom her soul loved, she sought him in his dwelling, she sought him in the streets of the city, she inquired about him of all whom she met. She did not find him (Cant, iii. 2). She sought him again, she found him at last ; and her love, become more ardent through deprivation, made her exclaim: "I have found him whom my soul loveth: I held him and will not let him go." (Ibid. 4). Oh, why do we not appre ciate in the same manner the happiness of possess ing God ? His absence in aridities would then make us desire Him more earnestly, seek for Him with more ardor, find Him with more love, and keep Him in us more watchfully.
In Aridities the Faithful Soul Loves God with a Purer Love
We often seek ourselves in piety; we desire to love God, but on the condition of finding pleasure in our love. We seek the God of consolations less than the consolations of God. We amuse ourselves with interior enjoyments; and in the love of God it is ourselves whom we love. But aridities purify this mixture of our own interests, and perfect the purity of our intentions. The soul which then loves, loves God for Himself alone, with a disinterested love, which has no other aid except faith. Oh, how agreeable to God is the soul which is in this state! God alone suffices and contents it: God alone in the understanding, without any ray of light; God alone in the will, without any flame of fervor; God alone in the heart, without any sweetness of consolation. Therein is merit; therein is perfection. Let us aspire to this state and ask it from God.
